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What is internet grooming / cyberstalking?
The Internet is used by most young people both at school and at home. You may use MSN, Bebo, Face Book, chat rooms or take part in online gaming. This can be the place where abusers try to get to know young people and groom them for later sexual activity, either in person or online.
There are five stages of grooming online. These are:
- Forming a friendship
This is where someone becomes friendly online or in a game and asks for personal information, often through private messages. It is very common for the abuser to be much older but not always. You may be asked for your age/sex/location or even your mobile number. You might be asked for a photograph, or if you have a webcam.
2. Forming a relationship
This may be where the abuser asks personal questions about problems at home, he may become someone you can confide in and might give good advice. This is aimed at building trust and getting as much personal information as possible.
3. Risk Assessment
You might be asked about the location of your computer, whether you have it in your bedroom or another private space, or whether it's in the living room where anyone could see what you are doing. This may be to establish how much risk there will be in making sexual remarks or sending photographs.
4. Exclusivity
This is about building that 'exclusive' relationship; suggesting that they are close or even in love and that they can tell each other anything.
5. Sex Talk
At this point the abuser will start to introduce 'sex talk', talking about what he /she could do and wants to do to the young person, asking for or sending explicit photographs or for sex acts to be carried out in front of a webcam. It may be at this time that a personal meeting is arranged.
This grooming can be a long process and the person who does it are often very believable, sometimes not only grooming the young person but the whole family. You may be told that the person you are building this relationship with is another young person, and he or she may be, but it's better to play safe online.
This grooming can be a long process and the person who does it are often very believable, sometimes not only grooming the young person but the whole family. You may be told that the person you are building this relationship with is another young person, and he or she may be, but it's better to play safe online.
There are a few tips you can use;
- You will have been told often by teachers, by your parents, in magazine articles etc. that you shouldn't give out personal information online such as your address or mobile phone number. This is good advice!
- Don't send or post photographs online that you wouldn't want anyone else to see. When you have sent them, you have no control over where they go next.
- Don't do anything in front of a webcam that you wouldn't want the whole world to see. Again, you have no control over it when it has been sent.
- Be careful what information you give out about yourself in a chatroom - you may be speaking to just one person but everyone in that room will be able to see what you have written.
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